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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

There's Madness Afoot

Periscope Up.

I’m feeling a little rattled.

I spent some time this morning in a madhouse on wheels filled with chattering schizophrenics. Or perhaps it wasn't the Bellevue mobile mental health unit. Perhaps it was a New York City busy with a full load of cell phone users.

Is there a measurable difference?

Perhaps you’re not familiar with the ‘trappings’ of schizophrenia. It’s a serious brain disorder that can distort the way a person acts, expresses emotion, perceives his/her surroundings, and relates to others.

You only need to spend a few seconds next to an over-animated, cluelessly loud-talking cell phone user to realize that they are the embodiment of the disease. Apparently convinced they are wrapped in Agent Smart's Cone of Silence and unaware of the obvious discomfort and anger of those around them, cell phone schizos natter on about the most private of topics or worse…the most boring, mundane, energy-sucking minutiae imaginable.

Stop the insanity!

What really puts the pickle on my sandwich is this: people with true schizophrenia (for whom I have the utmost compassion) are frightened and withdrawn as a result of their problem. With cell phone users, on the other hand, I am the one who is made frightened and withdrawn…and churlish and frustrated…and misanthropic and psychopathic.

(Perhaps you’re not familiar with the trappings of being a psychopath. Those are the folks that act out their feelings by spraying bullets in public places.)

Curing cell phone-induced schizophrenia is a battle that cannot be won, but might be controlled with proper treatment…perhaps legislation.

Write your flip-flopping local, state, and Federal representative today!

Periscope Down.

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Saturday, October 27, 2007

Natural Born Presidential Killers

Up Periscope!

This week on This Week with Bill Maher the conversation turned to the Governator, Born in the U.S.A., and the Article of the Constitution that covers the birthplace requirements of a potential POTUS. To wit:

Article II, Section 1, Clause 5: No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.

I come from a family of immigrants…and I agree.

No biggie here. It all goes back to childhood.

I believe that we are the sum and total of our experiences. What we see as children shapes who we are as adults. In youth, we are shown the bright promise of democracy which the clean-slates of our mind accept.

Then, we go through the American educational system…see the media through a child’s eyes…experience the slings and arrows of being ‘different’ as teenager (and we’re ALL different in one way or another)…come to understand the meaning of being wealthy or poor in America…

All these things create an EXPERIENCIAL relationship to this country with different and growingly complex layers of understanding about the good, the bad, and the ugly of our ideology.

When seeking truth, we talk about ‘Out of the mouths of babes.’ I’d like our POTUS to be able to listen to his inner child. Perhaps he or she would say, “Make pudding, not war.”

Down Periscope.

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Monday, October 22, 2007

Strictly Ballroom- Just for Fun

Up Periscope!

Work preventing me from dancing with the stars myself tonight. World Latin Dance Champions Melanie LaPatin and Tony Meredith and the crew from Dance Times Square had a show at NYC's Danny Kaye Theatre, but I'm here at home creating ebooks on divorce, membership websites, and 'sleeping yourself thin.'

I was a ballroom dancer myself BEFORE it was cool. (Ballroom dancing cool? That sounds like an oxymoron to me) In fact, I'm so old that I studied with Buddy Schwimmer...the FATHER of last year's So You Think You Can Dance winner Benjy. Among my more memorable partners and teachers:

Muhammad Ali Kahn - A very wealthy competitor known for his fancy footwork. His motto: "Fly like a butterfly, swing like a bee."

Bessie Mae Mucho - A passionate Latina from Tennessee, Bessie's always a hit when she throws kisses to the audience and the judges at the end of her performance

Poota Nesca - An dark-complected Italian 10-dancer with a passion for olives.

L.E. Vader - His career has had its share of ups and downs, but he’s well-known by the judges and well-liked by fellow competitors.

Leslie Carom - She’s studied with France’s greatest coaches, but she still hasn’t perfected her floorcraft and tends to bump into competitors, judges and poles

Now back to work.

Down Periscope.

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Thursday, October 18, 2007

Of Dogs and Cats

Up Periscope.

While trying to check in on world events, it's hard to ignore the Ellen DeGeneres Debaucle. (I think that reads much better than the Degeneres Drama)

So, I've got pets on my mind and in an unrelated tale of dogs and cats, I'm pondering the following.

Why are cats so frequently the hapless victimes in movies, television shows, and commercials, but not dogs? Is it something about their nine lives. Do we think 'Naw, they're not REALLY dead."

A recent screening of Snakes on a Plane re-triggered this paranoic musing. Less than 30 minutes in, and a cat gets it. The little yip dog, however, makes it through until the end.

I bet if someone did a survey, the onscreen mortality rate of Fluffys, Muffys, and Mittens would beat out Fidos, Rovers, and Sarges ten to one!

Apparently, in Hollywoodland anyway, 'Dogs Rule' and cats inherit the earth (from six feet under).

That's how it looks from here!

Down Periscope.

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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

It Ain't Me, Babe

Up Periscope.

To the friends and colleagues who have been asking whether I set up my own blog, the answer is:

Have you MET me???

I'm as technically proficient as a mollusk on Quaaludes.

Without SoSol Consulting -- my go-to resource for all things technological -- my blog would be dead and gone.

Just wanted to set the record straight!

Down Periscope.

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Inspiration for Exploration

Up Periscope.

No face-to-face meetings with clients this week. I'm totally 'net-based.

But you can't let good fall weather go to waste, so I've been looking for reasons to be out and about on the streets on Manhattan.

Today's inspiration for exploration: the Treats Truck. If you don't know this movable feast of sweets, you should.

Now, as sweet as the treats are, it's the smiling, pink-cheeked servers that really make the difference. Friendly and welcoming with the kind of sweets that have 'childhood favorites' written all over them, Treats Truck make me wonder how places like Magnolia Bakery stay in business.

Oh...and a shout out to the uptown branch of Kitchenette where I can always go for a little slice of 'Mom' at a more stationery location.

Sweets rule!

Down Periscope

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Kittens For Sale

Up Periscope.

I've spent the day working on titles for a client's new ebook on weight loss. I'd promised to 'say more with less' in a high-impact title like '101 Ways to Lose 101 Lbs.' or something equally catchy, but less corny.

With a million and one diet books out there, I knew my client -- a well-respected, alternative healthcare professional -- needed a title that could connect emotionally and practically compel a passerby to grab a copy off the shelf and run to the checkout line. (Or One-Click it at

My solution: "Losing Weight With Kittens"

Who could resist it?

Down Periscope.

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Can Thoughts Evolve When Creationists Govern?

Up Periscope

Have you ever said, "There's nothing you could say or do that would change my mind"?

If so...please allow me to slap you upside the head.

Justice Stephen Breyer (he's one of the sane ones on the Supreme Court) was once asked if it was hard not to have an opinion about a case that was before the court. He answered that he ALWAYS has an opinion; it begins to form as soon as the case is mentioned to him.

HOWEVER...and this is the important part, kids...he allows his opinion to remain fluid. He listens to all arguments to determine whether his opnion is valid or should be changed.

I like the idea of the evolution of thoughts. I believe in evolution.

But I guess if you're President Dunderhead...

'Nuf said.

Down Periscope.

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